Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
