I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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