We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
