does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
