Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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