I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
