Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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