wakey wakey hands off snakey
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
