I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
