ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
