Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
