woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
