I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize