Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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