I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
