Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
