I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
