If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
