so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
