so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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