Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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