You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
