Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize