I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish you could order shots online.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
