I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
