oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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