We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
