she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
