Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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