yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he thought i was a dude.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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