I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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