Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
try to milk me bitch
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize