just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im holly from the hills drunk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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