He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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