Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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