But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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