That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
