hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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