Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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