When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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