so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize