Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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