just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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