I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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