I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
