i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
