I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
