I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
