I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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