He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
