he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
