he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
