If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
