I haven't been this sober since birth.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
