What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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