well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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