My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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