I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
